Twenty Ways to Maintain Healthy Insanity: A New Email Makes the Rounds

I’ve just received an Email from a friend who just returned to Memphis from the Middle East and reports people snarling and losing luggage after seeing the Middle Eastern residency passport stamp. This is attributed to an Email being circulated called Can a Good Muslim make a Good American – “whereby people are being encouraged to make life miserable not only for Muslims, but anyone who works with them.” Has anyone heard of this Email? No one ever sends those on to me.

Anyhoo, if anyone is all bummed out about signing statements, warrantless wiretapping, relatives harshing on their mellow, and new names for torture, or just maybe three days straight of rainy weather, it’s time for some non sequitors and hopefully a giggle. You probably won’t want to share this anyplace where you want people to respond to you like a responsible, mature adult, but here it’s just you and me and no one else knows you’re reading this:

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on
and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,
Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.”
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.
Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,
Write “For Smuggling Diamonds”
7. Finish All Your sentences with
“In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,
with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And
Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends
You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name,
“Rock Bottom”.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream “I Won!, I Won!”
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
Parking lot, Yelling “Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy,
We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity…….
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It’s Called Therapy.

Wasn’t that utterly silly? And don’t you feel better now?

Posted in Humor. Comments Off on Twenty Ways to Maintain Healthy Insanity: A New Email Makes the Rounds