The Middle East abounds with conspiracy and paranoia, but have they ever tried to do anything about it? No. Of course not. Only Americans believe one person can make a difference. Only Americans try to reshape their physical surroundings, their social institutions, and even their destinies.
One such noble American is Lyle Zapato, who has designed the “Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB)”, also known as a tin-foil hat. The hat is designed to shield the brain from mind control as well as block anyone who is trying to read your mind.
Zapato presents his design along with technical tips free of charge on his website as a public service, along with much other information that will be of interest to paranoids, such as the monorail conspiracy, the self-replicating miniature black helicopter conspiracy, and the conspiracy of the nonexistent country Belgium.
Zapato is also the designer of a Linux-based software package that provides comprehensive protection against psychotronic mind control, which “works by leveraging your computer’s aluminum-based innards to both detect and emit psychotronic energy using advanced quasi-quantum techniques.” In case you have already been a victim of mental enslavement, the software also “includes an advanced DePsych utility, allowing the removal of almost all deep-burned memetic patterns — including even commercial jingles.”
For emoticon collectors, there is also a tin-foil hat smilie.
Aluminum foil hats are controversial, of course. An empirical study at MIT, for example, points out:
It has long been suspected that the government has been using satellites to read and control the minds of certain citizens. The use of aluminum helmets has been a common guerrilla tactic against the government’s invasive tactics. Surprisingly, these helmets can in fact help the government spy on citizens by amplifying certain key frequency ranges reserved for government use.
Zapato counters by pointing out that several of the authors of the study belong to MIT’s notorious “Media Lab” and are hardly impartial as they have received $1,032,627 from DARPA for a black project “which aims to develop a ‘Cognitive Architecture’ inspired by the observed structure and dynamics of the human brain/mind system”.
Research into the use of electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers is clearly in it’s infancy, but who knows, some day this might hold the key to peace in the Middle East.